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Monthly Archives: February 2016

Reminders

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time is a tree (this life one leaf) but love is the sky and i am for you just so long and long enough -EE Cummings My fear came back in full force for a bit. I forgot, as I am wont to do when he is around, how to control my anxiety. My mind […]

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New Me

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My previous life was not always miserable. I had many joyful times with my husband and children. Through the rough times, I fought for and found my happy, just like I am doing now and will do forevermore. It’s all about perspective, always about perspective. I got so good at adjusting my perspective, I began […]

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Beowulf

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I want to be rescued. I’m not supposed to want that. In this day and age, I am supposed to be satisfied with being a strong, independent woman who “doesn’t need a man to complete her.” I am all those things, but there is a difference between need and want, and I want to be […]

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Laughing

Oh wow, I’m going to be okay. I wasn’t sure for a minute, but I’m going to be okay. I just finished a session of laughing at myself in front of the mirror. I haven’t really looked at myself in the mirror today. It’s been an anxiety-inducing week, and I’ve spent most of the day […]

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Weary Wings

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So…yesterday was fun. The highlights included hours of phone conversation with him during which I set down the phone and walked away, because if I hung up he just called back over and over. This was followed by him showing up uninvited at the door of my home, yelling through said door about how I […]

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Tables and Toilet Paper

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“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.” ― Charles Dickens Our new dining room table is battered and scratched. One of the chair leg rungs has been snapped off. Initials are carved in various parts of its surface, and its previous use was as a workbench in the neighbor’s garage. […]

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Wings

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I currently find myself with perpetually excessive amounts of energy. At times, I really do feel as if I could spread my arms out wide and just fly. I love laughing and dancing and singing. I want to explore and discover and learn. I am no longer satisfied with mediocrity. All of those brain-numbing activities […]

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That Day

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I will always vividly remember the day, the moment, I officially filed for divorce. Rain drizzled against the lawyer’s office windows, and I sat in the waiting room, my hands clasped to keep them from shaking. Feelings of sadness and a conviction I was doing the right thing played tug of war inside of me. […]

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Awakening

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I’ve been in hibernation for a long time. My most integral parts of myself went away to a safe place to hide and sleep and wait for me to wake up. It’s thrilling to be opening my eyes again. I went through something like this once before, a time where I experienced a rebirth as […]

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