All the things again.
Monday, I woke to discover 50 people had died in a mass shooting in Vegas. My sister lives in Vegas. My other sister and a bunch of my friends were in Vegas at a concert the night before the shooting, at the very hotel the shooter was found. Life.
This afternoon, my student passed out in my arms and I had to leave her on the bathroom floor to run and get help. She’s going to be okay, but my students are my babies and it scared me.
This evening, a different student who had been fighting for her life this week joined her Heavenly Father. I lost one of my babies and my heart hurts.
Oh yeah, and my friend asked me to marry him. Men.
All the life things. I’m glad it was an at-home day today. I don’t get those very often, but I got to be at home today after school. I cried for my student and her family; I shook my head at people and relationships and how messy they are. I considered what I can do to save the world. How to spread light and love. How to lift others.
But I don’t have much for anyone right now. My son wants me to do all the things for him. I hate sixth grade homework. My daughter wants to tell me to do all the things for her. I’m weary of teenage…teenage-ness. My friend wants me to be his wife! Silly boys. I’m tired. Bed sounds nice. It’s okay to have down days. Processing days. Weary days. It’s okay. Take those days and wake with the new day, the new energy, the new ambition. But for now, goodnight crazy, weary, ridiculous, aching world. We shall be revitalized and be friends again with the sunrise. Today, I don’t like you very much and am happy to escape you with slumber