I figured it out. I thought I was going through withdrawals from men and that was why I was depressed. And I was going through withdrawals, but not necessarily from people. I was–am–going through withdrawals from fixing. I sank into another pretty deep depression for a bit. This one lasted a couple of weeks and […]

I’m ready to fall in love. Really, truly, completely, unconditionally. I’m ready to fall in love with my own life. I’m tired of trying to find someone to complete me. I told myself I wasn’t doing that. I told myself I was feeling whole and healthy and was ready to find someone else to enrich […]

2/21/17 I can’t sleep and I can’t figure out why. I’m on day five of tossing and turning all night long. I’m not dealing with higher than normal levels of stress in any area of my life as far as I can tell. I’m feeling better, being there more for my kids, staying off social […]

Wow, what a ride. This life. It’s so fascinating, topsy turvy, all around. What a week. Last weekend, I attended another amazing seminar where I learned some great tools to overcoming fear and taking control of my own happiness and peace. And boy have I been tested on it this week. Not in any really […]

The world is weary. Put your ear to the earth and listen. You can hear her softly sighing. Sometimes she groans with the weight of us And shrugs her shoulders to make us move. She is restless. She tires of our petty raging and selfish angst. Her soil soaks up our tears And her sky […]

Drama has slightly abated, so real life has begun to settle in. That’s okay with me. I continue to have energy and stamina to care more about “normal” things–until I drain myself because I still suck at self-care. But I made some goals. Nothing huge. Nothing unrealistic. I have an idea of where I want to […]

I’m coming back. It’s wonderful. Little things that are big things are easier again. I have been dealing with trauma and abuse for a long time, and I wasn’t sure what parts of me were authentically myself and what parts were the trauma and survival mode. I’m pleased with the me that is slowly emerging, […]

Balance. It’s a tricky thing to keep. I am constantly swinging back and forth, shifting from one side to the other, frequently flailing my arms, desperate to stay on course. But, every once-in-a-while, I hit the mark. I’m centered, focused, on point. I’ve got this. Then, something or other or myself pushes me off-kilter and […]

Last weekend was very big. I had someone be afraid of me because of lies. That hurt. For a few hours, I thought a dear friend had given up and that I had lost her. That was scary. I had to make the ex accountable for his actions and he went to jail again. That’s […]

Mostly and all the time, I just wish he would go away. So, so tired. Again. People tell me what he says about me. People tell me what he does. Mostly, it doesn’t bother me. People who believe him are fools and I don’t have time or patience for them. But sometimes, it does hurt. […]