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Housekeeping

I’m actually doing fairly well lately. I know my latest posts were kind of dark and slightly–or extremely–disturbing. But there is a healthy reason for this. I am sloughing off the excess. I am going through my internal inventory and cleaning things up, throwing things out, dusting things off. I am choosing what I want […]

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Detox

I was talking to a friend the other day, explaining my maniacal laughing episode, and he gave me an idea that I like very much to describe what I’m going through: I’m detoxing. Once, a loved one┬átried to get off his cocktail of medications cold turkey and I spent three days with him in the […]

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Labels

I don’t see myself as a victim. I recognize that other people do. Other people who know what my life has been and watched me experience it easily call me “victimized.” I’m not a fan of the victim label, however. I do accept certain labels for myself, but not that one. I know people who […]

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Crazy

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4/6/16 I’m feeling angry and I blame other people right now. The last few days have been some of those “I’d like to run away now” days. I spent a few hours yesterday helping my son through an anxiety attack. He’s not used to it like his sister, and he’s more like his mother who […]

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Driven

A few things I’ve learned over the past months: People’s choices and actions are, when boiled down to their core, driven by one of two emotions: Love or Fear. Frequently, a combination of these forces come into play, but these are the two essential elements of all of our decision-making as human beings. Looking at […]

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Omega

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Yes. In all my years of studying the English language, this word is one I never truly considered and analyzed, until now. Before, it was simply an affirmation. I suppose it has always implied positivity, moving forward, and acceptance. I’ve also recognized it sometimes as a term of victory, a shout of exultation. It’s always […]

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Courage

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My therapist keeps telling me to stop analyzing so much. Well, she told me once, and I repeatedly hear her voice inside of my head every time I catch myself overthinking things. I can’t help it, though. I think about things. I write about the things I think about. It’s how I work things out. […]

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Measure of Creation

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We can learn many lessons from observing the ways of mankind. We will learn many truths from observing the ways of nature. -Micki’s Musings, March 19, 2016 While renting a home and having most of my belongings still out of my possession isn’t ideal, it has allowed me much more spare time than I have […]

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Knock Out

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He is just a man. Absence made the heart more fearful for a while. I turned him into an overpowering monster in my head. I gave him strength he did not have and power he did not actually possess. He is not a monster; he is very sick and very afraid, and reacting to his […]

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Feasting

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I’m on a quest, of late. I’ve been delving into the depths of doctrine and discovering myself inside of it. (Nice alliteration there, eh? Just didn’t want you to miss it.) That is my quest, to find me. I want to know as much as I can about who I was before and what I […]

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